Archive | January 2011

My first…

There’s always a first time for everything right?

For everything that you do, there was a FIRST time doing it somewhere along the line; from taking your first step and saying your first words to riding a school bus for the first time and leaving home to go to college and so forth.  Everyone’s FIRST takes on its own significance for their given situation…some slightly more significant than others. 

Sometimes though it is the less significant FIRSTS that are more fun and exciting depending on the perspective you choose to have.

Today I’m doing a FIRST…. Making a pot roast.  I know, I know… don’t get too excited all at once here. I mean seriously… how hard can it be right?  Let’s just say I was/am a bit nervous about setting off the smoke alarms and having to throw dinner away. But I’m not gonna let the “worrier” in me get in the way of trying to cook a yummy dinner. 

Here’s to hoping that dinner turns out well or we’ll be going out for pizza 😉

I guess I should mention, that I am cheating a little bit…. A certain special mister pointed me in the direction of McCormick’s pot roast seasoning/bag kit.  Think that should help out in my success tonight!  We’ll have to let ya know…cross your fingers!

Enjoy every first you embark on… you don’t get a redo on FIRSTS, but can always try again but it’s not quite the same.  Make the first count.  I’m trying to!

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…the worrier…

Worry, worry, worry…

Yep, that’s me through and through.  Try as I may to NOT worry, I only end up worrying more.

It’s not that I enjoy worrying at all. In actuality I HATE it.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been a worrier…just ask those closest to me. Though I’ll worry about that too.

From the littlest, most insignificant of things to the largely uncontrollable.

If I make a phone call to a friend, significant other or family member and they don’t answer I worry…if they don’t return a call I worry.

Send a text and get no response….what do I do you may ask???? Yep, I worry.

Bringing up a “sensitive” subject I worry about the response or in some cases the lack there of.

I worry that those I love are upset or angry when often times there is no need. In my mind however, silence or delayed responses or again the lack there of fuels the worrying fire.

I worry that I’m letting people down or making them unhappy.

I worry that if I am happy, the other is not.

I worry that I said the wrong thing, didn’t say enough or even worse said too much…one would think I’d have learned to leave we’ll enough alone. But, instead, I worry.

I worry about what others say and think.

I worry that others don’t say or think.

I’ve worried that I’ll be alone.

I’ve worried about loves lost only to realize that nothing was lost.

I’ve worried about the possibility or lack there of.

If someone says everything is ok…why do I worry it is not?

I worry that my best isn’t that.
I worry that my mistakes can’t be corrected.
I worry in my dreams.
I worry.

I worry about expectations.

Worrying that mine are to0 high or not high enough.

I worry that I’ve hurt those closest to me.

I worry that some don’t agree with me.

I worry because the truth hurts.

Worry that I’ll become too close.

I worry that I’ll open myself to be hurt.

I worry that reality is far more different from my dreams.

I worry that my dreams will not become reality.

I worry that I waste too much time…

Worry…

I am just so good at it…

Can’t seem to control it… asking are you ok? Are we ok? What’s the matter when nothing needs to be said or done.

 Silence can be lethal for a worrier…. I’m just sayin’ is all.

Attempting not to let worry take over and consume me…leading to none other than more worrying.

Worrying about the need to stop worrying…

Worrying about things to be done.

Worrying that things won’t be done.

Worrying that those who mean the most won’t reciprocate…

Worrying that those won’t understand…

Worry about the future and possibilities it holds.

Wheels keep pushing worry through…

Worrying what all this worrying is about…

Letting go of the worry… it should be EASY shouldn’t it.

If it’s meant to be easy it will be…

Leaving the worries in the hands of the One who is in control…

Never Say Never

Just when you think you have things and people figured out…

 something changes…

you have doubts…

or better yet you are surprised…

And even still better you surprise yourself…

Life has a funny way of twisting and turning and shaking ya up.  I mean everything… all rocked; strewn about.  Going from one extreme to another in a mere matter of moments.  Nothing specific to aid in the deciphering of emotions amidst daily discourse.   

Hard to Explain….

Let me try…

Have you ever been DEAD set against something? 

 I’m talking about the “Over my dead body” kinda attitude.

Let me start by saying that I consider myself to be a pretty fair/open-minded individual in most cases.  I’m usually wiling to try most new things.

With that being said, there were always a certain few things that I never would have even considered participating in or have ever fathomed I would find myself enjoying.  But again, life has a funny way of twisting and turning and shaking things up. Just a few…

  1. Country music:  About 10 or so years ago, I absolutely REFUSED to listen to country music.  Never would have even given it a shot, which is pretty closed-minded since I have proclaimed myself to be a “lover of all music.” There was just an underlying stereotype associated with the whole twangy, “woe is me” country tunes.  Somewhere along the line I found myself hearing a pop country song and kinda diggin’ it.  Before I knew it I had purchased a couple CD’s.  Now, I will say that I am still to this day not a true die-hard country fan, but I am a fan of  a few more popular artists such as the Dixie Chicks, Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney.  With age, my tastes have broadened and am always willing to give an artist a shot.  You’d really be surprised when looking at my music collection.  There’s nothing off-limits; with maybe the exception of techno. As a certain someone recently said upon our first correspondence, there is no drug on the planet strong enough to make me think that techno music is a good listen.  But hey, who am I to judge.  To each his own, just not for me.
  2. The Tattoo:  I always told myself, “if I made it through 4 years of college without getting a tattoo, why should I get one now.”  I went with many friends when they got theirs in college.  I thought about it, but always chickened out.  I even had a sketch drawn out of what I wanted.  But never did it between the years 1996 and 2000, so it was settled in my mind that I would NOT get a tattoo.  Who in the right mind would get a tattoo, their FIRST tattoo after college.  I mean seriously, “grow up.”  Ummm ya.  That whole timeline, deadline restriction thing I seemed to have valued entirely too much in my early 20’s came in to play again.  Why the need to put a goal date on something? I dunno… But long and short of it.  I had an idea for a tattoo; I made a rough sketch completely different than the one I had made in college; passed it off to a most talented best friend of mine and she drew up something AWESOME.  SO guess what… before this girl turns 33 she’s gonna have her first tattoo.  So looking forward to it.  The meaning behind it is much more important to me than the fact that it took me more than 10 years to figure out that I still really wanted one.  Surprise, surprise, surprise… I never cease to amaze myself sometimes.  Now, you know I am kidding of course.
  3. Now this last thing I said I would never, never, ever do is going to remain nameless for the time being.  Those of you closest to me will know what I am making reference to.  At this point in time, the rest of you will just have to try to read between the lines.  Sorry, not giving it away just yet.  But for years, I have heard “do it, do it, do it” from more people than I care to admit.  My sisters, mom, best friends, acquaintances.  You name ’em they said it to me.  “Just give it a shot.”  “What have you got to lose?”  “You’ll never know until you try.” Yadda, yadda, yadda.  I wanted to hear NOTHING about it. Just not something I wanted to do at all.  No desire in the least.  If I wanted to, I could and would do it.  The difference being I needed to do it in my own time, whenever that may be… Well my own time came around about a month ago.   It’s been interesting to say the least.  Surprises, shocks and laughs galore. But taking a chance about three weeks ago has led me to be very pleasantly surprised … Happy, smiling and laughter…I’ll take it! Am I enjoying things at the moment?  ABSOFREAKINLUTELY!  😉  If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll fill ya in. But my point in “sharing” (not sharing) is to never, ever, say never.  You just never know who or what may pop up in your life…could be good; could be bad…You’ll never know unless you try.  Happy to say I have been graced with good…thinking it’s very good actually. 

Here’s my point.  Don’t build walls and hide behind them just because there’s something new along the horizon.  Take a leap of faith.  Try something new.  Something you never thought you’d do in a million years.  Something that you were dead set against ever even considering the thought of doing.  Take a chance.  Consider it a challenge.  The ending result WILL surprise you if you make an honest and genuine attempt…Who knows?  Maybe you’ll even knock it outta the park or get knocked off your feet slipping on a patch of ice.  Go with it… Take in the smiles, the laughs, the new experiences.  I know I’m quite surprised so far with the outcome of my most recent leap of faith.  Surprised and happy.  Happy with my decision to give it a shot.  Happy with the ride I’ve taken so far.  Happy at the possibility of the road ahead full with twists and turns and the glimmering chance of hope… Happy with the leap I’ve taken…

That leap of faith is a powerful thing.  Having faith in yourself, others and your choices is so very important.  I am thankful to have a daily reminder of such magnitude.  Everytime I’m unsure, discouraged or wavering,  I look at the many pieces on my walls.  With every initial of a piece of my art work… I see it.  MFT… The “F” standing for Faith, my middle name.  It’s there as a daily reminder…to have faith in myself and the decisions I make; have faith in those I surround myself with; have faith that my choices are just that.  I have the choice to hide behind walls or embrace new ventures. No longer hiding behin a wall… I’m liking this new venture I am currently on. Thinking I’ll stick with it.  See where it takes me. No timelines or handbooks determining my path or rules along the way.  Learning more about myself and others.  Very happy with my choice and the leap… Where will it lead me?  Only time will tell…

I’ve really surprised myself in the last few weeks and have also been surprised by others… in the best ways imaginable.  It’s all good as far as I’m concerned. 

Never, ever, say never.

 You just may surprise yourself… or maybe someone else will surprise you just in time.

I’m just sayin’……..

A little bit of a Fresh Start….

sitting here looking at my blog, I decided to make a little change…

Considering it a touch of a fresh start as the new year is under way; and given that one of my goals is to allow more time for myself to write I decided it was time for something a little different.  Nothing big at all…

Some may not have even noticed it if I didn’t mention it, but… “Bits ‘n Pieces” is no more…  the reason being …

When I started this blog on a whim about 8 months ago, I didn’t know where I was headed; originally intending the focus of my writing to be on the little bits and pieces of wisdom I gathered from all areas of life… mainly the words of another.  Whether it be the lyrics of a song, an inspiring quote, or just a phrase.  As the months have gone by, I have shared many a topic in varying depths and aspects of my life.  Allowing you to get to know a side of me that perhaps you hadn’t had the privilege or horror of making acquaintance. 😉  Reason being I didn’t think I wanted to share that much of the nitty-gritty aspects of my life… You know, the deep little “secrets” we all tuck away deep inside of us;  for no other reason than to ignore their reality and  downplay their significance or even the fear of letting in what actually makes you tick.  Writing this blog has afforded me the opportunity to display and vocalize vulnerabilities I never would have shared otherwise.  I cam to realize I was sharing much more than mere “Bits ‘n Pieces” of my life but larger puzzle pieces that sometimes fit into the inner workings of all that is me.  I’ve let you in on my days, both good and bad and every assortment there of. 

This then led me to the title change, and coordinating it with the url I chose for the blog 8 months ago.  Bits ‘n Pieces was taken… I had no idea where to go from there… somehow settling on a combination of TWO of my nicknames… Maggie and Mae. Combining them together to make maggiemaesdays.wordpress.com… So why not make that the new title for my blog?  Sharing my days with you has been so enlightening thus far and I hope to continue doing it for some time longer.  It has been a wonderful release for me even if no one ever read it, but am so thankful to you that have 🙂

So here’s to a new chapter and a little bit of a fresh start….  Sharing with you, Maggie Mae’s Days!  ENJOY!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my posts and continue to read along.

Simmer Down….

Ok… Everyone STOP and take a deep breath.  

Ahhhhaaa, there.  Much better. 

Yes we got some snow. 

Yes it came down fast and hard. 

Yes the timing of the snow fall came at an inconvenient time when we were all trying to move around and get about. 

But here’s the thing.  We knew it was coming!  The weather forecasters had done nothing but talk about it from dawn until dusk for the last several days.  Everyone had their chance to venture to the store to get their “necessities” for the 3-6 inches we were to get.

You know who I felt bad for today? …  school bus drivers.  Man, oh man could you imagine how stressful that was today carting around a full load of kiddos and running INCREDIBLY behind schedule in icky conditions?  I couldn’t even begin to imagine… even on a good day!

You know who else I felt bad for?  … people with a long commute. Long commutes in general are NO FUN on a normal day with traffic and can be made even worse due to accidents or whatever.  Today though, people experienced commutes that doubled or even tripled on their way home from work.  Does not sound like a fun way to end a long day. Especially since more than likely they were stressing about the commute HOME on their commute into work and continued to think about it all day as the snow began to fall during the afternoon hours.

And do you know who I felt EVEN more horrible for???  The people stuck behind the people who were freakin’ out because of the weather while driving a few miles down the road. I’ll give them this; The roads were HORRIBLE.  BUT, have common sense.  Drive efficiently and effectively. And for the LOVE OF ALL HUMANS, especially ones driving in snowy, wintry mixes of weather up a long, slightly upgraded road such as mine,  HAVE DECENT TIRES on your car or if you aren’t able to get new tires ( which can be tough… I know…$$$) at least review some winter weather driving rules you may recall hearing from driver training way back when… I can hear my step dad’s voice in my ear as soon as the first snow flakes fall, “Just drop into low gear and go slow…Rock the wheel back and forth.  DON’T GUN IT!”  Well, unfortunately for me the person who so boldly pulled out in front of the car in front of me, driving wayyyyy faster than he/she should have instantaneously decided that he/she should slow down.  Slowing down to the point of a crawl as they turned onto my street which then caused them to start spinning and get stuck.  No rocking of the wheel; no low gear.  They just tried to gun it which lead to more spinning of tires and moving a fraction of a foot and continuous spinning of tires.  After ten minutes of “following”  this clearly frazzled driver for about 10 minutes and having only moved about 100 feet, this generous soul ever so graciously decided to turn on their four ways and “pull” over.  THANK YOU!  So me, the seasoned snow driver that I am thanks to 4 years of attending college in the freakin’ snow belt of the world that is Edinboro, manuever my car around the kind person in front of me and proceed along my way home.

Yes, that is right… my 5 minute drive home turned into 20. 

Now, some perspective… As venting about my 20 minute hellish commute to someone who’s commute went from 40 minutes to almost 2 hours, I SHUT UP and was reminded to be thankful.  Thankful that I have a short, easy commute.  Thankful that I had heat during this snow fall and very thankful we only got what was called for unlike the CrAzY snow that fell last February that left me “stranded” in my apartment for 3  days with no electricity or heat, with my only provisions being peanut butter and crackers and no means of communication. Thankful.

SO to all of you still driving home from work on this wintry evening… be safe; be smart… Not STUPID.  Use your noggin as I tell the kiddos at school.

Take a DEEP BREATH and simmer down… It’s winter… In Southwestern Pennsylvania… It’s inevitable…

It’s GONNA snow.

*** I wrote this yesterday, January 11th after getting home but for some reason I couldn’t get this to post until now. Just to clarify as the roads were a-okay today on the way home!

Decisions….Revisions…

This post has been a work in progress for several months now…Adding, deleting and modifying its content has been interesting and eye opening.  Curious to hear what you think…

I am who I am and proud of it.  As I have stated before, something that is plainly obvious; I am a work in progress.  I have not changed who I am, because again, I will not allow a list to dictate my success in life or my happiness.  I just hope to change the way I go about my life.  Sharing of myself and giving to others, respecting and honoring myself and those closest to me do remain priorities as always.  The difference being a more efficient utilization of my time and efforts.  Spending time and effort on the people and things that matter… the RIGHT PEOPLE, as I was reminded today…is what it’s all about.

Finding and Defining happiness…

  1. Do what makes me happy.
  2. Live each day in a way that will make me proud; therefore, making me happy.
  3. Make decisions that I can live with in the day-to-day.
  4. Take nothing for granted.  Period.
  5. Have faith in myself and others
  6. Trust myself and my judgement…
  7. Forget regrets.
  8. Live and be me….

So that’s my MASTER list… No time line; no qualifiers or quantifiers determining my overall success in happiness in life.

I decided to break it down into a more attainable and achievable set of goals. … See below for an explanation and the New and REvised list…

RE-VISIONS

In an earlier post I detailed THE LIST; A list of goals I had established for myself when I was much younger that I aspired to achieve by the age of 28.  I resolved that while the list was not completed, I would not let a set of guidelines with a deadline attached define my happiness or overall success.  After reading a fellow blogger’s post (Thanks Nicole!) about her list and recent conversations with long-time counterparts, I have decided to reconstruct mine and start completely over…no deadlines…no pressure…. Just a simple list of things I hope to achieve at any given time.  The items on this new and revised version of THE LIST aren’t numbered, and aren’t  in any specific order of importance or priority.  They vary in their significance from tiny little tidbits that make me or someone else happy to the more lofty ideas that may have made an appearance on my original list…. This list is a compilation of many I’ve had in the last 32 years.  As items are crossed off, new additions to the list will be made. The list is LENGTHY and will continue to grow even as items are crossed off.  ***NOTE:  There will be a PAGE dedicated to the “LIST.”  It can be found at the top of Maggie Mae’s Days Home Page.  Stop back and check on my progress***

HERE GOES….

Try at least one new recipe a month

Keep a house plant ALIVE for a whole year

Fly in an airplane

Visit Washington state

See Phish in concert

Get my first and only tattoo

Children’s book published

Learn photography

See sunrise and sunset at the beach

See 3 shows in New York City

Go on an “alphabet” walk and take pictures of each letter found until you’ve found all 26

Learn how to tie a neck tie

See Coldplay in concert

Take a random, unplanned road trip

Take a walk in the rain

Visit the Grand Canyon

Be silly more often

Take a bus to a small town just to spend a few hours exploring

Put all my pictures in photo albums

Laugh daily

Share my thoughts and words more freely

Go to the drive-ins

Go target shooting

Send a card to someone for no reason

Print all the digital pictures I’ve uploaded

Watch a scary movie

Visit all the museums in the Pittsburgh area

Buy ice cream from an ice cream truck

Get a massage

Pay the toll booth for someone behind me

Host get-togethers more frequently

Surprise someone for no reason at all

Wake up in the morning… take a picnic lunch… get in the car and see where the day takes me

Learn something new once a month for a year

Refinish grandma’s sewing desk

Be a better daughter, sister, aunt, friend, boss

Redecorate parts of my place

Make a difference in at least one person’s life

Get healthy and stay healthy

Travel to Italy and Germany

Find love; be loved.

Blog more often (at least once a week)

Try Thai Food

Go back to visit Edinboro

Make cards to donate to nursing homes

Refinish bedroom set

Tell those who matter “I love you” more often

Show those who matter I love them more often

Do at least 3 craft shows in a year

Write a song

Learn to play piano

Slow dance under the stars

Take a pottery class

Design a greeting card for Hallmark

Get published in a paper crafting magazine

Talk less, listen more

Go to Vegas

Make a stranger smile

Take a cooking class

Go to at least 10 concerts in a year (It’s been done in the past… but quite some time ago now)

Crank up the music and dance a fool at home

Make a “20 Things I Like About You List” for a friend or family member and give it to them

Jump in rain puddles

Make a list of 100 random things about myself and share on my blog

 That’s it… I’m pretty happy with it and am going to make a conscious effort to work at it when  I can… I have as long as I need/want…

Take this challenge… What are your ultimate goals?

Feelin’ stooooopid…..

Yes…..I know…I spelled it wrong….

This girl finally caught up with the times & got a touch screen phone with a data plan….woo hoo right?  WRONG! !!!!

OH MY! The inadequacy in my ability to send a text message let alone typing this post is near infuriating!  Extra LETTERS, wrkng letters & just trying answer a phone call is nearly enough to make a 32-year-old feel archaic!!!

I swear to you I am a bit of a technologically advanced individual… I can almost ALWAYS figure out computer issues having resolved viruses, installing software & helping others do the same.

Maybe my decision to get a touch screen phone was someone’s indirect way of knocking my technological confidence down a notch or two. If so…I would have to say success has been achieved and then some.

So just for the record, I know how to spell STUPID… my skinny and long fingers somehow seemed to have morphed into fat little sausages that are preventing me from writing intelligible bits ‘n pieces…

So for now, please don’t comment on my misspellings or think I am ignoring your text or phone calls. It’s just taking me a bit longer to fumble around & respond.

Here’s to hoping I don’t chuck the phone out the window any time soon… 🙂