Tag Archive | emotions

A taste of bizarre and a pinky promise.

 

I was in the middle of writing a post on my phone when I decided I was going to save it for the night and continue tomorrow.  What’s one more night, right?

Before exiting out of the Android WP app, I decided to take a peek at my stats.  I don’t really check too often, as I’ve not been posting much this year and recently I’ve had a good chunk of readers unsubscribe all together.  (Leaving me with a twinge of disappointment but really I can’t blame anyone as I’ve not been writing!)

Anyways… so I look at my stats…. and my mouth drops.

I AM CONFUSED…

Today I had the highest numbers of views EVER.  Higher than when I was posting every day even…. Huh?!?!  Wow.

And to make it even more perplexing it was a post written last October entitled:

Trick or Treat!!! Good things happen to those who wait!

(click the title if you’d like to take a read)

Not sure why that post was the gold mine today, but it brought more readers to my blog in one day than I’ve ever imagined strolling through.  There’s nothing in it that holds strong significance to the day today from what I wrote last year… I mean I did get some pretty awesome news the day I wrote that post… Some very much-needed awesome news after a stretch of stress and uncertainty.  But, I just don’t get why so many peeps made the trek to my blog today… to that post…

Don’t get me wrong… It’s not a bad post in my opinion; I mean it has pictures of 3 of the nephews in it so I mean, come on?  Of course I like it. BUT, in comparison to some of my other posts, I’m just plain out baffled at how or why this happened.

Nevertheless… I am grateful to all that stopped by today. So thanks!  And I sure hope you come back again.

Even more grateful to the friends who’ve stuck it out and have read from the very beginning… over TWO years now!  (That’s how bad I am this year… I didn’t even do a happy 2nd birthday blog post… 😦  )   I PROMISE… you won’t regret sticking with it.  I WILL BE BACK SOONER RATHER THAN LATER…

That’s a PROMISE !

If you don’t already subscribe, go on… do it already.

 

Loves to you my loves.

 

 

The Right Fit For Me?

Arise too early; wake too late

laughter and love, anger and hate

 

upfront and honest; lie and sneak

Open your eyes; don’t dare peek

 

too big; too small

too short; too tall

too strong; too weak

too bold, too meek

 

Much too heavy; far too light

remain calm and collected; put up a fight

 

use your words, bite your tongue

far too old; much too young

 

tell me all, I don’t want to know

come here fast; go away slow

 

adore the beginning; fathom the end

keep enemies close; lose touch with friends

 

nightmares linger, wishing dreams to stay

live to dream, dream to play

 

Through every second, the search continues … the right moments; the right choices, the right people, the right things.

 

Instead I’ll just treasure each moment of everyday

Finding the right fit me.

 

 

As always,

Megan

Posted from WordPress for Android

Cranky Cloud

It’s following me, I swear.

Doesn’t matter how much I’ve tried recently.

 

This last week especially, the cloud of crankiness seems to be directly overhead and won’t move on.

I’ve caught up on sleep. I’ve had some fun with friends and family. I’ve downloaded some new tunes. I’ve even taken to organizing my nail polish collection again.

I’m just cranky. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

It’s a beautiful day out… what I planned on working on outside isn’t cooperating.

I’m just cranky.  Ask anyone. Well, maybe anyone but me unless you enjoy having your head bitten off.

Perhaps I just got up on the wrong side of the bed again… I dunno.

Perhaps it’s the culmination of spreading myself too thin over time… I dunno.

Perhaps it’s the repetitious let down of persons not holding true to their word… I dunno.

Perhaps I’m just cranky for no reason whatsoever… i dunno, but more than likely that’s not the case.

All I know is I’m just cranky.

Any second now, it will be gone.  I must say, that I will not be sad to bid the cranky cloud a due.

So… I suppose all I can do is ride the storm out with the cranky cloud hanging overhead. It’s gotta move on at some point right?

I sure hope so because this cranky crap doesn’t suit me. Not at all. Not in the least.

My original plan of action for the day may have been hi-jinxed by Mr. C. Cloud himself, but I’m giving in to the beauty of the day… Donned in a tank top, shorts and flip-flops… Laptop, folding chair, sketch pad and popsicles en tow.

Where am I headed you should ask? Not the beach… not a pool…. Just  the grassy patch of lawn right next to my parking lot. Off to enjoy some me time in the sun.  Hoping this is just the ticket I need to get off the cranky train!

Just in case though, maybe I could use some help from you my friends, from far and wide? What would you do to shake the crankiness out? Any words to scare the cloud away?

As always,

Megan

Posted from WordPress for Android

Have You Ever?

Have you ever wished you could read someone’s mind to find out exactly what they’re thinking? When you just want an answer to a question or an explanation for an action and you get no response… when you just can’t tell what’s what and what’s going on… when you think you have a good handle on things & are unexpectedly proven otherwise.

Have you ever wished you could take your words back having said too much or the completely wrong thing? Realizing all too late that words can & do hurt… understanding that some don’t or won’t quite get what you mean no matter how you say it because they just won’t hear you…

Have you ever said too little? Holding back your true thoughts & opinions only later to ponder that those words you chose NOT to share could have made a difference …

Have you ever taken a chance only to regret the choice you made? Thinking what if I didn’t or what if I hadn’t?

Have you ever been envious of another? Wanting or wishing you have what they possess or an opportunity they’ve been presented?

Have you ever wished for and wanted something for as long as you can remember only to realize that not having it has left you better off without it? While you may not necessarily understand the how’s and the why’s of the matter, the realization arises that where you are now, with what you have, is exactly where you’re meant to be.

Have you ever shown gratitude for all that you have, all that you are and who you have become? Paying respect to those that have helped you along the way… giving props when props are due…

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by the goodness in those you chose to surround yourself with?  Each bringing something amazingly unique into your life… adding joy, offering support, showering with love.

Have you ever thought about the sheer wonder of your waking up to another beautiful day?  Rejoicing in the fact that you have another chance to make it a wonderful day…

Have you ever considered just how fortunate you are to have a roof over your head & food on your table?

Have you ever wondered where you will be in 5 years? 10? 20?

Out of the things I’ve learned along the way, what ifs and have you evers arise often.  Moving forward in life, looking ahead,  not behind you yet taking with you all that’s been etched into your being; carved into your heart, mind and soul… the trust you’ve gained and respect you’ve earned.

Wish not, want not for what you don’t have; be gracious and give thanks for all that you do.

I choose to live my life by WHAT IS not WHAT IF…

Closing a chapter

I like to think I have the best of intentions on most days.  I make lists of all kinds to plan out what needs done at home and work… to do lists, crafty lists, must do lists and “the list” to name a few…The point of the lists is to get organized…. make a plan… attack items on said lists… then cross items off the list.

The problem is with so many lists… it can be hard to keep track of what needs done.  SO then in an effort to prioritize I make a new list.  Pulling items from each of my lists and working from there.  The trouble is, for every one item I cross off of one list, another 10 pops up.

I don’t know about you, but for me there’s always a couple of things that you COULD do on your list but just keep shuffling them down further on the priority line.  Things that you have to do, but really just don’t wanna do…

I FINALLY got to cross one of these off of my at home “must-do” list!  I cleaned out my storage closet in the basement!  Oh, the bins I went through and the things I found…. my cabbage patch kid, named Gwendolyn Merlina ( who was ever so stylish in red tights and a white, pink and yellow dress)…. my porcelain ballet shoes my grandma got me when my lifelong dream was becoming a ballerina… odds and ends and tons more… I got rid of ALOT of stuff…. notes that friends wrote me in elementary school… “love” letters from my college boyfriend… cards from birthdays…. I organized some of my Christmas decorations…. Oh, the CRAP I decided to hang on to!  What was I thinking???

THEN, I moved on to my teaching stash…. I kept putting it off!

HOLY MOLY did I still have a lot! Supplies, manipulatives, decorations, resources… All of which I made or purchased out-of-pocket because I wanted to.  I LOVED decorating my classroom.  Ask anyone I worked with, my walls were covered from floor to ceiling… windows were decorated… hallways not to be left out either.  Everything had a learning purpose… Sorting through and remembering… sorting through and deciding…

It was time to get rid and make room.  So, I bit the proverbial bullet and decided it was time to sell my teaching goodies.

Bulletin board pieces….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

handmade bits and pieces

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

borders

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

resources and much much more….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I remembered where things hung in my room… I remembered when I bought certain things… I remembered that A certain student bought me a gift card that I purchased certain supplies with…  It is honestly amazing to me that I can still remember such things, yet I have to think two or three times to remember if I turned my hair straightener off in the morning….  Bizarre isn’t it?!  Anyways…..  

I was generally ok going through everything…

Until I got to my huge stash of children’s books…  the books that I read to the kids each and every day.  My good books, that weren’t in the lending library or book bin.  These were my GOOD books. Oh the memories, that came flooding over…

There are certain books that remind me of certain students… or there were certain books that I LOVED reading to the kids… and there were the books that the kids ALWAYS wanted me to read to the point that I was flat out sick and tired of them….

It’s funny how a lifelong dream can change… that your goals in life and where you end up don’t always align in a way that you understand.  In the last several weeks, I’ve been asked if I plan on returning to teaching … if I miss working with the kids.

The answers are no… and yes.  

Yea, I know… right?  Who would have thought my answer to the first question would be no.  For nearly as long as I can remember all I ever wanted to do was teach.  I loved every single minute I spent in the classroom with my students.  They are what I miss about the field…. not the school systems.

It was an incredibly hard decision for me initially… as was going through my teaching stuff.  But the fact of the matter is… I have so many incredible memories of my time with the kiddos… and their families… and many fellow teachers….  There was no point of holding on to all this “STUFF.”  That’s all it was …. it was stuff.  I still have the memories.  I still have the notes from grateful parents… and appreciative kids…

I know, that for a period of time in my life, parents entrusted me, lil ‘ol me, with the education and future of their most precious gifts.   How lucky was I?!  What an incredible gift they gave to me!  I am fortunate to have had those experiences thanks to none other than myself and those students and their families.  I am thankful for those memories.  I am thankful I was able to share those precious teachable moments with those kiddos…  Those are things that I will ALWAYS have no matter the job I hold.  I am happy with the mark I left in the education world while I was in it… I am even happier to know that to some, I made a difference.

But now, I am happy to be cleaning out the “closet”… Closing a chapter in this awesome book I call my life.

In the mean time… Yea, you know all those children’s books?  Not a chance in the world I’m parting ways with those!  Those bins will be staying put… no doubt about it. 🙂

 

Posted from WordPress for Android