Tag Archive | mistakes

“All Mixed Up” by 311 – Thursday Throwback

Band: 311

Album: 311 ( Also known as The Blue Album)

Song:  All Mixed Up

The Memory:

 I believe it was during the summer of 1998, I was taking 6 credits at the local Community College.  Had to cram them in before the following semester due to a change in majors.  My advisor failed to point me in the right direction when switching from Accounting to Elementary Education so I had to take some sort of History/Geography and a Math class.  For the life of me I can’t seem to remember either course’s name specifically… I was annoyed beyond belief that I had to spend my Saturdays in class when I could have been at work ( I enjoyed it, what can I say?) or hanging out with my friends listening to tunes or going to a concert or something, anything else other than sitting in class.  If anything, I was pretty convinced they’d be a breeze to get through since I “heard” that classes at CCAC were a cake walk. 

Hmmm.  I was misinformed to say the least… The professor was a STICK-IN-THE-MUD with a monotone voice…  Teacher in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off voice.  Pure torture! 

Luckily I chose the seat I did as I was surrounded by a pretty cool, hysterically awesome, crew of peeps that didn’t want to be there any more than I  did.  We had incessantly long breaks where through our delirious antics, which were driven out of sheer boredom and disdain,  kept us moderately, if not completely entertained. 

Each week, we’d take turns piling in one of our luxurious (remember, college students) automobiles and head out for a fine dining experience at any number of fast food establishments, where we’d continue to cut up and act a fool as young-in’s  do.  My luxury car at the time was a Dodge Shadow… I was stylin’ and beyond ecstatic when my turn to chauffeur arrived as music selections were driver’s choice.  I worked diligently the whole week before my turn to create the best, most AmAzInG mixed tape… (Holy cow, did I just date myself) Songs included on this trophy-worthy, prize-winning playlist were  STOP! by Jane’s Addiction, What I Got by Sublime and Plush by Stone Temple Pilots to name a few.

I guess I should mention that I had a bit of a crush on one of the fellas in our little cohort of fun-times.  We had the same taste in music, he displayed a good mix of outspokenness and level-headedness, super funny and a BLAST to be around… not to mention he was VERY easy on the eyes.  We became pretty close over the weeks, even talking on the phone during the week in between classes.  Now, I was pretty shy at the time… (still am to a degree but not nearly as much these days) … BUT, I worked up the courage that my week was the week I was going to ask HIM out. 


Boring professor dismisses us for break and we head out to pile into my car for MY turn to drive, My turn for music, MY time to ask Chris out after we ate… MY NERVES  were so bad I could hardly concentrate, but made it to Wendy’s (told ya, fine dining experiences) in one piece laughing and ready to grub.  Lunch seemed to drag on unusually slow of course but finally the time came for us to head back to campus.  Chris was gathering up his stuff and I hung back with him, “Shoo-ing” all the others off.  He and I headed out and I just did it … “So, hey.  I was thinking maybe you’d wanna go out sometime. Dinner and a movie or something? What do ya think?”  His response, “Awww Meg, I love ya honey. But, I’m as gay as the bluebirds happily frolicking in the sky.” 

My mouth dropped and all I could think was…HUH?  WHAT!?!  You’ve gotta be kidding me!!!!  OMG!  I am sooooooo embarrassed. 

 It apparently was also quite obvious to him that I was completely oblivious!!! 

I looked at him and all I could muster up was, “Ummmm.  Doesn’t it figure the one guy, the first guy, the ONLY guy I’ve ever worked up the nerve to ask out plays for the other team. Never again, seriously never again.”

He grabbed me, picked me up and giving me the biggest hug, spun me around.  He lost his balance and we both ended up on the ground. I mean we fell hard to the pavement.  All we could do was laugh.  Laugh uncontrollably as we walked back to the car as the others waited; wondering what happened I am sure, we just continued laughing as we piled back in. 

As I began to regain composure, I pop the tape back in and what should come on but All Mixed Up by 311.  Chris looked over at me, in stone cold seriousness singing the first 2 lines of the song…

” You’ve got to trust your instincts and let go of regrets…”  , followed by, “Ummm. Meg, DON’T trust your instincts babe. They’re awful!”  Everyone else was completely confused, so Chris then proceeded to tell them what happened, catching all the others off guard as well.  SEE!  My instincts weren’t that off!  No one else knew either!!! … the giggles took over for the remainder of the ride back to campus. 

And so for the rest of the summer, the phrase “All Mixed Up”  became a bit of an inside joke to our little group, throwing references in whenever one could. All I could do was laugh and shake my head. 

 Summer classes came to an end in the beginning of August.  Most of us kept in touch for a while… some of them came to visit me at Kennywood, we went to a picnic at one of the girl’s houses.  Chris and I stayed in touch for the next 2 years… emailing and talking on the phone.  He even came up to visit me at Edinboro once… taking me out to dinner and a movie! 🙂

It was a great summer.  Definitely a memory, I’ll never forget.  This is the first time I ever shared the complete story with any one… Probably the last time too! So feel lucky if you’re reading this!

One thing I know for sure… 

I don’t think I’ll be asking another guy out… ever again.  

A big THANKS to Carrie for posting this video on FB today… As soon as I saw it, I knew what my blog post was gonna be tonight! 

…the worrier…

Worry, worry, worry…

Yep, that’s me through and through.  Try as I may to NOT worry, I only end up worrying more.

It’s not that I enjoy worrying at all. In actuality I HATE it.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been a worrier…just ask those closest to me. Though I’ll worry about that too.

From the littlest, most insignificant of things to the largely uncontrollable.

If I make a phone call to a friend, significant other or family member and they don’t answer I worry…if they don’t return a call I worry.

Send a text and get no response….what do I do you may ask???? Yep, I worry.

Bringing up a “sensitive” subject I worry about the response or in some cases the lack there of.

I worry that those I love are upset or angry when often times there is no need. In my mind however, silence or delayed responses or again the lack there of fuels the worrying fire.

I worry that I’m letting people down or making them unhappy.

I worry that if I am happy, the other is not.

I worry that I said the wrong thing, didn’t say enough or even worse said too much…one would think I’d have learned to leave we’ll enough alone. But, instead, I worry.

I worry about what others say and think.

I worry that others don’t say or think.

I’ve worried that I’ll be alone.

I’ve worried about loves lost only to realize that nothing was lost.

I’ve worried about the possibility or lack there of.

If someone says everything is ok…why do I worry it is not?

I worry that my best isn’t that.
I worry that my mistakes can’t be corrected.
I worry in my dreams.
I worry.

I worry about expectations.

Worrying that mine are to0 high or not high enough.

I worry that I’ve hurt those closest to me.

I worry that some don’t agree with me.

I worry because the truth hurts.

Worry that I’ll become too close.

I worry that I’ll open myself to be hurt.

I worry that reality is far more different from my dreams.

I worry that my dreams will not become reality.

I worry that I waste too much time…


I am just so good at it…

Can’t seem to control it… asking are you ok? Are we ok? What’s the matter when nothing needs to be said or done.

 Silence can be lethal for a worrier…. I’m just sayin’ is all.

Attempting not to let worry take over and consume me…leading to none other than more worrying.

Worrying about the need to stop worrying…

Worrying about things to be done.

Worrying that things won’t be done.

Worrying that those who mean the most won’t reciprocate…

Worrying that those won’t understand…

Worry about the future and possibilities it holds.

Wheels keep pushing worry through…

Worrying what all this worrying is about…

Letting go of the worry… it should be EASY shouldn’t it.

If it’s meant to be easy it will be…

Leaving the worries in the hands of the One who is in control…