Tag Archive | New Year

The hoopla

I dunno know why it happens… but the hoopla or sometimes the lack of hoopla surrounding the new year and it’s celebrations gets to me.

I find myself thinking about  what was, what wasn’t, and what isn’t.  What I have or what I don’t.

Perhaps it is because I spent the night (hell, who am I kidding…. the last 2 days) on the couch with the heating pad feeling like crap.  Worse than crap really.  Better than I felt two nights ago but like crap nonetheless.

I don’t know just what it is about this night that throws me for a loop.  I get sad.  I think about where I’m not versus where I am and where I am going.

I find myself thinking about what I want versus what I have right in front of my face.

I get nostalgic and reminiscent of people and things… Some of which don’t necessarily hold me in the same regard now and may very well never have ever.

I do generally believe myself to be a pretty positive person… at least I try to be.  I know some will beg to differ on that point, but especially when it comes to my writing I try to keep it positive and real.  That in and of itself can be a bit contradictory at times…

…but there is just something about this night.

It just gets me. I don’t like it.

Just a mere hours earlier I wrote a post that is totally contradicting to this exact post…

“Start each morning with a grateful heart.”  That’s what I said…

Yea,  I know… I said it now I gotta own it and live it.

Please, don’t get me wrong… I have MUCH to be grateful for… I know this.  I’m having a moment though.  One that I just needed to put out there… one I normally wouldn’t put out there for all to see. I really did, didn’t I??!!  My crankiness is out…  you’ve found me out. 😉

But alas I have not yet gone to bed so therefore it is not yet morning so I’m allowing myself this one rant for the night…

Tomorrow… yes tomorrow I will wake with a more grateful heart.

I promise…

xoxo

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Tides Of Change…

365 days ago today, I wrote of Expectations.  Expectations of myself and for myself.  Expectations of others and for life.  Expectations of the year to come and for all that I would be presented with.  If you’ve not read it, please take a minute to do so. It is still one of my favorite posts to date, written well before I had many readers.

When I wrote that post on expectations on December 31st of 2010, I had not a clue as to what the year would hold for me.

365 days.  525, 600 minutes.

So much can change.

So much can happen.

And believe me… it did.

Since then…. I became an aunt for the 6th time in July when we welcomed Jimmer to the world.

I just can't get enough of those cheeks!!!

 

I went to 7 concerts and wrote about some of them here…

1.) Jason Myles Goss2.) Iron & Wine3.) The Avett Brothers4.) Kenny Chesney & Zac Brown Band, 5.) NKOTBSB6.) Scott Blasey7.) Incubus

 

I lost my job and got a new job that is COMPLETELY outside of my “chosen” field…

I tried online dating and swore it off indefinitely…

I tried a bunch of new recipes and started running again… I’ve had cereal for dinner and not run as much…

I’ve written lots and taken breaks…  I’ve done a ton and nothing too.

This year has been a complete whirlwind of excitement and change… triumphs and letdowns…

Goal setting and achievements… fresh starts and lots of change.

Time spent with this adorable face….

"I want it!" All P-Dub wanted all night was a pool ball... the boy gets what he wants.

 

And getting to watch this kid grown up….

B-Shane playing Uncle Chuck's guitar

Wouldn’t trade a second… except maybe for more time to get to spend with the 5 nephews and 1 niece…

But what never ceases to amaze me is the fact that I never stop learning.  I continue to grow and change with each let down… I grow further and change more with every triumph.

I’ve become stronger with every challenge that has faced me.  Momentarily I may have been weakened by those struggles presented, I try to come out kicking and screaming when all else fails and usually come out on top.

Looking back on these 365 days, I have met some amazingly phenomenal people… I’ve lost some that I thought were friends…. I’ve reconnected with some I haven’t seen in years.

I’ve got to spend time with those I love and who matter most.  I’ve gotten to know and love so many people so much better through talking, writing, chatting, sharing of music, sharing of thoughts…

I’ve had days where I felt completely defeated only to wake up the next feeling excited and rejuvenated.

Quite honestly even with the bumps and bridges… the haves and the have-nots… the what is’ and the what if’s…  I wouldn’t trade a single moment of these 365 days.  Not one minute of the 525,600 moments I was given will be tossed aside.

As the new year once again awaits me I am left to wonder what exactly the universe has in store…

The curve balls keep on coming having gone to the ER the other night… things aren’t all peachy in the “health department” but I’ll spare ya all the details… all I can do is roll with the punches…

I’m going to do what I can with what I have… I’m going to continue to be thankful for those I have and those I can count on…  Be thankful I HAVE insurance and it’s gonna cover everything. 🙂  Woo hoo!

What I am NOT going to do is come up with a list of resolutions… I’ve tried it, I’ve never stuck to ’em.  I’ve made lists and wishes and promises.  I’ve resolved to do this and do that and forget what the this and that are before the 10th of January.

What I am going to do each and every day of this coming year is something we should all do each and every day…

I am letting go of the weights that held me down for far too long and chose instead to be grateful for the good given in each moment of every day.  That’s not an easy thing to do, but I am certainly going to give it a try…

Happy new year to you my loves… May you all celebrate safely and enjoy all that you have and all those you love.

 

xoxo

 

 

Celebrating the gift of “YOU” to the world

Have you ever wondered how birthday celebrations became so important?

To some birthdays are a huge ordeal.

To others, birthdays are just another day in their time here on earth.

I’d say that I’m right smack dab in the middle of the mix.  While I like a bit of a fuss to be made on my day, it is in actuality just another day in my life….

But this “just another day in my life” is truly a gift in and of itself.  Time and time again we are reminded that life is so very precious; never knowing which ordinary day will be your last here.  Illness, Accident or nature… you just don’t know when your time on earth is up; when a normal day will be your last.

Your birthday is your own personal “Happy New Year” celebration.  It’s the day that we celebrate you making your appearance in the world.

In my family we don’t have any traditions that are set in stone but we usually have dinner at my mom’s that most often includes corn on the cob and fried green tomatoes (all of our birthdays are in the summer 🙂 ).  Summer birthdays always lent themselves to fun in the sun… from slip and slide birthday parties to weekends on the house boat in Erie with my Aunt, Uncle and cousins to weekend birthday celebrations at the cabin with little bro and friends.

Often we got flowers from our step-dad on our birthdays along with cake and ice cream.  Many birthdays have been spent at work in my days at Kennywood or on field trips at the daycare I used to work at.  Concert tickets have made some pretty cool birthday gifts I’ve received including several Dave Matthews Band concerts and the Paul Simon & Bob Dylan show I saw with an Ex.

All things aside though…. YES, the gifts are nice & the cards are heartfelt or funny. BUT, the biggest gift we receive each and every year is more time to walk this Earth.  More time to leave your mark on the world… More time to forage relationships with those you love and initiate new bonds.

The gift of you to the world is the most amazingly spectacular gift that can be given… for on YOUR day, you and only you are celebrated.  Your talents, your being, your treasure.  Celebrate the gift that you are to the world.  The gift that you are to your friends and family… the gift that you are to yourself.  Acknowledge your awesomeness and celebrate the fact that you are unique.  You are the most precious of gifts that could ever be received.

So on your special day each year… I celebrate the gift of you!

CELEBRATE each breath that you take… every move you make.