Tag Archive | personal

Cranky Cloud

It’s following me, I swear.

Doesn’t matter how much I’ve tried recently.

 

This last week especially, the cloud of crankiness seems to be directly overhead and won’t move on.

I’ve caught up on sleep. I’ve had some fun with friends and family. I’ve downloaded some new tunes. I’ve even taken to organizing my nail polish collection again.

I’m just cranky. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

It’s a beautiful day out… what I planned on working on outside isn’t cooperating.

I’m just cranky.  Ask anyone. Well, maybe anyone but me unless you enjoy having your head bitten off.

Perhaps I just got up on the wrong side of the bed again… I dunno.

Perhaps it’s the culmination of spreading myself too thin over time… I dunno.

Perhaps it’s the repetitious let down of persons not holding true to their word… I dunno.

Perhaps I’m just cranky for no reason whatsoever… i dunno, but more than likely that’s not the case.

All I know is I’m just cranky.

Any second now, it will be gone.  I must say, that I will not be sad to bid the cranky cloud a due.

So… I suppose all I can do is ride the storm out with the cranky cloud hanging overhead. It’s gotta move on at some point right?

I sure hope so because this cranky crap doesn’t suit me. Not at all. Not in the least.

My original plan of action for the day may have been hi-jinxed by Mr. C. Cloud himself, but I’m giving in to the beauty of the day… Donned in a tank top, shorts and flip-flops… Laptop, folding chair, sketch pad and popsicles en tow.

Where am I headed you should ask? Not the beach… not a pool…. Just  the grassy patch of lawn right next to my parking lot. Off to enjoy some me time in the sun.  Hoping this is just the ticket I need to get off the cranky train!

Just in case though, maybe I could use some help from you my friends, from far and wide? What would you do to shake the crankiness out? Any words to scare the cloud away?

As always,

Megan

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Questions for you

Are you a person of your word?

How do you react when someone’s words fail to be true?

What do you do when actions contradict what you’ve been told?

Help me out if you don’t mind… I need your feedback for a post that’s been brewing about in my noggin. Please share your thoughts and words with me. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

As always,

Megan

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Procrastination Station

I always meet deadlines.  Honestly I think I thrive on deadlines. 

An uninformed bystander would be apt to think I have a systematic, methodical plan established, detailing a rigid schedule of individual tasks to be completed to successfully meet the deadline and overall end goal.

I’d like to say that is true.

But, my momma taught me not to lie.

Truth be told this girl is a procrastinator.  Always have been and more than likely always will be.
From cramming for exams in high school and college to drafting research manuscripts for grad school to pretty much all my crafty adventures to brushing my teeth just as I am about to be walking out the door to getting my car inspected during the last week of the month it’s due.  (OK, actually I take the last one back … my car was actually inspected a whole month early this year! Once in a life time occurance, I can assure you. )

Quite honestly, some of my aboslute BEST work has been completed just minutes before the time is to run out. Some of the best (and longest) papers I’ve ever written were products of literally no sleep for almost 40 hours and taken directly from the printer to be handed to a professor while the paper was still warm. A maid of honor speech that I stayed up until 3 AM writing the night before the wedding only to he thrown out and a new one uttered on the fly in cue with the DJ’s go ahead. Wedding invitations made through the wee hours of the morning on the day the bride is expecting them in her hands.

This blog post for example, has been nearly finished for quite some time… I just needed to finish it. A whole week later I am finally getting to it.

Don’t let this scare you from asking me to take on a project for you. Just ask any one… I’ll get the job done, one way or another in due time.

Sure, I’ll be stressed … more than likely I’ll get frustrated through the process.

Nonetheless, I enjoy the process. I suppose I enjoy working down to the wire… I enjoy finally seeing a product through to the end … celebrating it’s completion. Not now though…

I’ll celebrate later … after I brush my teeth just before I walk out the door. 😉

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Have You Ever?

Have you ever wished you could read someone’s mind to find out exactly what they’re thinking? When you just want an answer to a question or an explanation for an action and you get no response… when you just can’t tell what’s what and what’s going on… when you think you have a good handle on things & are unexpectedly proven otherwise.

Have you ever wished you could take your words back having said too much or the completely wrong thing? Realizing all too late that words can & do hurt… understanding that some don’t or won’t quite get what you mean no matter how you say it because they just won’t hear you…

Have you ever said too little? Holding back your true thoughts & opinions only later to ponder that those words you chose NOT to share could have made a difference …

Have you ever taken a chance only to regret the choice you made? Thinking what if I didn’t or what if I hadn’t?

Have you ever been envious of another? Wanting or wishing you have what they possess or an opportunity they’ve been presented?

Have you ever wished for and wanted something for as long as you can remember only to realize that not having it has left you better off without it? While you may not necessarily understand the how’s and the why’s of the matter, the realization arises that where you are now, with what you have, is exactly where you’re meant to be.

Have you ever shown gratitude for all that you have, all that you are and who you have become? Paying respect to those that have helped you along the way… giving props when props are due…

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by the goodness in those you chose to surround yourself with?  Each bringing something amazingly unique into your life… adding joy, offering support, showering with love.

Have you ever thought about the sheer wonder of your waking up to another beautiful day?  Rejoicing in the fact that you have another chance to make it a wonderful day…

Have you ever considered just how fortunate you are to have a roof over your head & food on your table?

Have you ever wondered where you will be in 5 years? 10? 20?

Out of the things I’ve learned along the way, what ifs and have you evers arise often.  Moving forward in life, looking ahead,  not behind you yet taking with you all that’s been etched into your being; carved into your heart, mind and soul… the trust you’ve gained and respect you’ve earned.

Wish not, want not for what you don’t have; be gracious and give thanks for all that you do.

I choose to live my life by WHAT IS not WHAT IF…

Closing a chapter

I like to think I have the best of intentions on most days.  I make lists of all kinds to plan out what needs done at home and work… to do lists, crafty lists, must do lists and “the list” to name a few…The point of the lists is to get organized…. make a plan… attack items on said lists… then cross items off the list.

The problem is with so many lists… it can be hard to keep track of what needs done.  SO then in an effort to prioritize I make a new list.  Pulling items from each of my lists and working from there.  The trouble is, for every one item I cross off of one list, another 10 pops up.

I don’t know about you, but for me there’s always a couple of things that you COULD do on your list but just keep shuffling them down further on the priority line.  Things that you have to do, but really just don’t wanna do…

I FINALLY got to cross one of these off of my at home “must-do” list!  I cleaned out my storage closet in the basement!  Oh, the bins I went through and the things I found…. my cabbage patch kid, named Gwendolyn Merlina ( who was ever so stylish in red tights and a white, pink and yellow dress)…. my porcelain ballet shoes my grandma got me when my lifelong dream was becoming a ballerina… odds and ends and tons more… I got rid of ALOT of stuff…. notes that friends wrote me in elementary school… “love” letters from my college boyfriend… cards from birthdays…. I organized some of my Christmas decorations…. Oh, the CRAP I decided to hang on to!  What was I thinking???

THEN, I moved on to my teaching stash…. I kept putting it off!

HOLY MOLY did I still have a lot! Supplies, manipulatives, decorations, resources… All of which I made or purchased out-of-pocket because I wanted to.  I LOVED decorating my classroom.  Ask anyone I worked with, my walls were covered from floor to ceiling… windows were decorated… hallways not to be left out either.  Everything had a learning purpose… Sorting through and remembering… sorting through and deciding…

It was time to get rid and make room.  So, I bit the proverbial bullet and decided it was time to sell my teaching goodies.

Bulletin board pieces….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

handmade bits and pieces

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

borders

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

resources and much much more….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I remembered where things hung in my room… I remembered when I bought certain things… I remembered that A certain student bought me a gift card that I purchased certain supplies with…  It is honestly amazing to me that I can still remember such things, yet I have to think two or three times to remember if I turned my hair straightener off in the morning….  Bizarre isn’t it?!  Anyways…..  

I was generally ok going through everything…

Until I got to my huge stash of children’s books…  the books that I read to the kids each and every day.  My good books, that weren’t in the lending library or book bin.  These were my GOOD books. Oh the memories, that came flooding over…

There are certain books that remind me of certain students… or there were certain books that I LOVED reading to the kids… and there were the books that the kids ALWAYS wanted me to read to the point that I was flat out sick and tired of them….

It’s funny how a lifelong dream can change… that your goals in life and where you end up don’t always align in a way that you understand.  In the last several weeks, I’ve been asked if I plan on returning to teaching … if I miss working with the kids.

The answers are no… and yes.  

Yea, I know… right?  Who would have thought my answer to the first question would be no.  For nearly as long as I can remember all I ever wanted to do was teach.  I loved every single minute I spent in the classroom with my students.  They are what I miss about the field…. not the school systems.

It was an incredibly hard decision for me initially… as was going through my teaching stuff.  But the fact of the matter is… I have so many incredible memories of my time with the kiddos… and their families… and many fellow teachers….  There was no point of holding on to all this “STUFF.”  That’s all it was …. it was stuff.  I still have the memories.  I still have the notes from grateful parents… and appreciative kids…

I know, that for a period of time in my life, parents entrusted me, lil ‘ol me, with the education and future of their most precious gifts.   How lucky was I?!  What an incredible gift they gave to me!  I am fortunate to have had those experiences thanks to none other than myself and those students and their families.  I am thankful for those memories.  I am thankful I was able to share those precious teachable moments with those kiddos…  Those are things that I will ALWAYS have no matter the job I hold.  I am happy with the mark I left in the education world while I was in it… I am even happier to know that to some, I made a difference.

But now, I am happy to be cleaning out the “closet”… Closing a chapter in this awesome book I call my life.

In the mean time… Yea, you know all those children’s books?  Not a chance in the world I’m parting ways with those!  Those bins will be staying put… no doubt about it. 🙂

 

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Time for a new to do list

After talking with some co-workers… and mulling over ideas for crafty ventures… and taking a considerable amount of time away from blogging consistently in the last 6 months… it’s time for a make over… a “to do list” make over…

It’s funny all that can change in a year’s time… Seriously… It’s almost insane to think how much can change.  Goals.  Ideas.  Just everyday life and what you want to do in it AND with it.

Pinterest has become such an addiction for me… as has diving in to new tunes… my profession has changed… I have new goals… there is a ton I wanna do… even more that I want to try… I’m thinking it’s time to revamp “the list” a bit…

The wheels are a turning… and I want to hear your ideas!

 

Take a minute to look over my old list  (click on the hyperlink) which is a replacement to the really old list (again, click on the hyperlink)…

THEN… share your ideas about what YOU think I should include on my new “to do” life list!

 

Can’t wait to hear what you have to say!  🙂

Take me as I am

It’s funny how sometimes a quote or song lyrics just really strike accord with me… Like they were put into the universe specifically for me.

It’s actually kinda freaky to me just how often it occurs.

My brother-in-law’s sister posted the above quote on Facebook this evening… It was the very first thing I saw after a REALLY long day of work, running here and there, grocery shopping,  making & eating dinner and sorting through some things.  It was pretty much perfect.

Perfect for me.

Take me as I am or watch me as I go…

How absolutely amazing is that thought?

Often times, I concern myself far too much with what people think of me or how they view me.  Whether my words will be offensive or if my actions were the cause for things that quite frankly were COMPLETELY outta my control.  I often wonder what makes individuals feel so inclined to offer opinions on personal matters when none were solicited. Or the times when I doubted myself and my confidence wavered because of someone else’s insecurities and superficiality seeping through.

I sit here reminded of how often I’ve doubted myself in the past because of the actions or inactions of others.

Take me as I am or watch me as I go…

I wonder, truly wonder just how many times in my life I have let the opinion of another influence my thoughts, words or actions in a negative manner… I know, in my heart of hearts that I have fallen prey to that more times than I’d care to admit.

It’s funny how quick we are to fall into doubting ourselves because of one person or a single situation.

In this last year, I have come a long way…

I recently decided to take a dive back into the dating world…. I know, right?!  I’m just as surprised as you!

There is honestly nothing more nerve-wracking than dating.  The initial date is either a flop or a fly…. You fumble around, purse spilling out all over the floor within the first 5 minutes of meeting, and find your way through the potentially awkward hellos and goodbyes.  I am A-Okay with that. It’s part of the fun, right?!  At least that’s what I’m telling myself. 😉

Take me as I am…. or watch me as I go… 🙂

After a first date how many of you think….  “What did I say? What shouldn’t I have said?  Did I ask too much?  Want too much?  Not enough?  Was I pretty enough?”  I know I have in the past!

Right now… where I am is a TOTALLY different place… One that I couldn’t be happier about.  I know now, that if it doesn’t work out it’s because that person just wasn’t the right one for me.  If a man truly wants to be with me, he will move mountains just to spend 5 minutes with me…  A good friend of mine and my best friend and her husband all reminded me of that (SERIOUSLY LADIES… REMEMBER THAT!)

Every experience in life is preparation for the next big thing coming your way.

Don’t doubt yourself… Don’t question why because it wasn’t meant to be.

SOMEDAY I will have that perfect match in my life… until then….

While I try to please those in my life,  the truth of the matter is, it’s my life.  People come and yes, some go… the ones that CHOOSE to go don’t have a clue what they’re missing out on.   And if the one’s that stay aren’t adding to your life?  The one’s that aren’t giving you what you deserve or need?

Just tell them… it’s really, a quite simple concept…

Take me as I am or watch me as I go…