Tag Archive | work

Trouble finding the words…

Most often, I pick up a pen and paper or start pounding away on the keyboard and let everything out.  The words seem to flow, almost to the point of overflowing.

OR….

I find “words of another” that say everything I wanna say but can’t seem to muster up on my own… whether  it be through quotes, verses or music.

But, there are some times in which I am quite simply at a loss for words.

Recently, I was forced to face a situation I never thought I’d have to experience… losing my job.  (Gah!  I shudder when I say that…)  It was a surprise; It was a shock; it rocked my world.

Words ceased to exist….

In my mind I could only think… “It’s not fair.”

SINCE WHEN HAS LIFE EVER BEEN FAIR???

If life was “fair” my parents wouldn’t have lost their first child at such a young age… If life was “fair” my step-dad and many others would still be here with us not watching over from above… If life was “fair” then little girls like Caylee Anthony would still be here… If life was “fair” homelessness wouldn’t be a problem in our society neither would war or cancer.

I could continue to go on, but you know you’ve been there…  saying that something

JUST.ISN’T.FAIR.

As of May of this year, the unemployment rate in the US is at 9.1% according to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics.  Clearly, I am not alone.  Yes, I lost my job… but so have many others. Some that have families to support, some that are individuals such as myself.  The manner in which it happens is different… downsizing, bankruptcy, whether the reason is true or not, or just because it’s time to move in another direction; whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it easier to hear…it doesn’t necessarily sit well.

Here’s the thing though… it’s only been a little over a week and I know that it will be ok.  I am ok.  I will be ok.

I was blessed to have met some amazingly wonderful people through my 8 years there.  Some phenomenal kids and families and terrific co-workers and staff; some of which that have become my friends and will continue to be a part of my life; some that will no longer be a part of my life anymore and I am ok with that too.

What I’ve lacked in words I garnered in emotions… I’ve been through the gamut a few times and back again. From anger, hurt, sadness and betrayal to contentedness, happy, jovial and just plain old okay to numb and disbelief.

Yet, words still escaped me… Trying to describe the roller coaster of emotions just wasn’t possible… at times, it’s still not.  In talking with those closest to me, they too struggled to find the words… Words that would make me feel better, words of encouragement, of support and understanding, of empathy or sympathy.

Usually, I would turn to writing or listening to my music, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  Really couldn’t put my finger on any one thing that would make things seem a bit better or help me to channel all the emotions I was feeling.

There were 2 days where I listened to not one song…. I didn’t write one word….

Soooooooo….. NOT…… ME……

Until a very dear friend of mine shared this with me.

I sat at my dining room table… chatting with my friend…listening to this song… tears streaming down my face.

Really?!?  Wait am I waiting for????  This is MY time…. My time to move on to BIGGER and BETTER things.

Which was something I was afraid to do;  if I was honest with myself I would have realized this much sooner.

My words slowly started to return to me…

I then received this song…

The tears began rolling down my face again as I realized these words and the words of the previous song were the exact words that I was searching for and needed to hear.

I am so incredibly lucky to be surrounded by so many wonderful people… I’ve been overwhelmed with the amount of support, love, warmth, prayers, well wishes and listening ears I have been blessed with.  From family and friends in the “here” world to those in my “far” world as well as my blogging friend circle, words can’t express how truly thankful I am to have you in my life.  With your help, I am coming out of this a better person; you’ve helped me to find the words.

I can hold my head high knowing that I’ve done right in my life… I’ve made a difference in people’s lives… I have accomplished many things that I am proud of.  This my friends has just given me a push to do even better things.

Now taking the steps to move on with my life… moving forward into new adventures that promise to be bigger and better than any I’ve ever experienced before.

I received one final song from my friend…

Upon hearing I just sat at my dining room table, shaking my head.
Now, at a loss of words because I had found my words… Or more accurately, my friend GAVE me the words. Everything that I was feeling, thinking, needed to hear and needed to be reminded of were just passed along to me by my friend.

I am reminded that while yes, this situation is not ideal, it could be worse.  I do still have a roof over my head and even if I have to leave my home I do have somewhere else to go.  I do have my health for the most part.  I have family and friends that love me, support me and pick me up when I’m down.

I have people who listen when the words are overflowing…. I have people who love me for who I am not what I do… I have people who believe in me no matter what… I have people who care for and support me in ways that I never thought possible from all over the WORLD (for reals?!?  How cool is that!?!).

I have people that GAVE me the words I was searching for…  For that, I am ever so grateful.

So I am looking forward; no looking back.  The road ahead is sure to be bumpy, but I know that I have the best company at my side and in my heart,  along the way.

I don’t know just yet where I am going or what I’m going to do… (there are a couple promising prospects on the horizon my friends 🙂 )  Yet, I do know that with the support and love of those closest to me and His grace guiding me, I will come outta this on top.

Out with one… in with the next.

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I can finally say that this incredibly long & extremely busy work week is over.

Wooooooo hooooo!

Our school year ended last week with the last day of classes being on Thursday and our school wide picnic and graduation on Friday. Mother Nature received a gold star for the day as she stopped the rain just prior to our littles performance in front of about 300 people and didn’t allow it to start again until we completely unloaded everything back at the school!

The kiddos did a wonderful job with their performance & had a blast playing with their friends …

Very lucky to have some amazingly awesome teachers at the school; teachers that work together & help out as needed,  when needed. Most of us had mud pedicures by the end of the day due to rain earlier in the day … no matter though because we all had a ball.

The parents & families were so complimentary….

Turned out to be a great day to end the school year!

Tomorrow our summer program begins bringing lots of school-aged students to our center and a new realm of responsibilities. Field trips are booked…themes are set…decorations are ready to go.

Good-bye to the 10-11 school year and welcome to summer of 2011.

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The Energizer Bunny…

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This is who I’d liken myself to recently.

Running here, there & everywhere these days… from errands to commitments to a concert to dinner with a friend to pulling some incredibly long days…  only one day this week did I crawl into bed before 1:00 AM.

Some of the hecticness is for fun; some outta responsibilities & duty; some due to my procrastinating; and some just because.

Some tell me I overextend myself; some say I need to prioritize; some say I should practice using the word “no.”

Those who know me best know I generally function very well under pressure. At times I think I thrive on stress. Honestly,  sometimes I even create more stress for myself without even realizing it… it just happens to be a big part of who I am.

Some of my best papers written were finished at 4 AM.

Some of my best crafty projects weren’t finished until 2 hours before it’s to be given as a gift. 

Some of my most productive days extend through the evening into the weeeeeee hours of the morning.

This is how I’ve always been for as long as i can remember.

I don’t necessarily foresee this changing in the near future either. I have good intentions; I just end up scheduling too many things in one week or let a few too many deadlines approach too quickly without paying much mind to them.

It all gets done eventually…who needs sleep anyways?!?! 😉

This girl does…. just doesn’t happen all the time. On the days where I’m running on empty, I remind myself of all I’ve accomplished just under the wire.

Everything will get finished ; I will have time to just chill out & “veg” one day.

Even if it’s not until the cows come home or when pigs fly, someday I’ll get there!

Until then I’ll just keep going & going until the battery wears out…

I just wish that I looked as cool & chill as the ever going, somewhat annoying Energizer Bunny… cool shades & all.

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Wonderfully Awesome Weekend

Hello friends! How are you all? Hopefully doing well since I last posted!

It certainly has been a while since I’ve posted. Quite honestly I’ve been dying to post but between my crazy, busy schedule, my laptop still on the fritz & some situations that have rattled me & ruffled my feathers I haven’t had much of a chance to breathe let alone blog as of late.

Tonight though, I decided to put everything aside and make time to write and catch up with my blogging friends … I’ve missed you guys!!! Seriously missed ya!

Hmmmmm. Where to start?

Work is keeping me on my toes & keeping me more than busy. Between our end of year picnic & graduation this coming Friday for which we are expecting nearly 300 people and preparing for our huge summer program that begins next wrek I’ve got about 5 to-do lists going at the same time. Super busy time of year for us with the littles & then quickly transitioning to welcome a bunch of school-aged kids for summer. Lots of work but looking forward to seeing all the planning come to fruition.

Family has its way of keeping me busy lately too. Between lil bro’s graduating from CMU with a masters degree in English/Rhetoric to P-Dub’s upcoming 1st birthday to get togethers to Relay for Life fundraisers to home parties… you name it we’ve had it going on.

Life my friends, is good. While it has its way about throwing you some curve balls at times you learn lots about yourself and those around you. Some good, some not so thrilling. Pray on it. I have & will continue. Sometimes a prayer can be answered & you end up getting caught up & a lil hurt in the process; in a way you didn’t expect. The answered prayer, even though it was prayed and meant whole heartedly can still cause a tiny bit if hurt depending on the situation; a tiny bit of conflict within leaving you confused by being disappointed & happy at the same time. It’s a weird thing to experience. All I can do is listen to my heart, learn and continue to believe & pray that all things will work out in time. Not my time…not in your time either. Only in his time.

Anyways… forgive my digression there! Moving on to this most wonderfully awesome weekend I had.

A very positively poductive weekend indeed. From getting a special order of 12 frames completed on Friday to writing this blog from the comfort of my deck (on my teeny tiny phone keyboard I might add!) it was a pretty bang up good weekend to end a busy week while also ushering on an even busier week ahead.

The best part about it was the weather men were wrong! We had 2 absolutely gorgeous days this weekend in spite of a partially rainy forecast. Woo-hoooo!!!!!

Yesterday was filled with a good bit if outside time… hit up some yards sales with Jaime early in the day followed by a trip to the Goodwill Outlet Store. That place was an experience in and of itself & deserves its own post which will hopefully come in the nezt couple of days. Good deals including three pairs of brand new name brand shoes! Score for sure.

After our bargain shopping adventures I was beat but somehow managed to resist the urge to take a nap. Decided instead to wash my car & clean the interior as well. Miss Serendipity looks stunning if I do say so myself! I was saddened a tiny bit upon seeing the little nicks & scratches my pretty little car accumulated since her last washing. Two dents on the hood from the hail storm we had a while back and little chips I can only assume are from stones coming up off the road. Nicks and all I love my little car! 🙂

I picked up the 2 flats of flowers I ordered from B-Shane at mom’s house and brought them home to plant. My little deck looks positively bright & cheerful with the addition of fushia Impatiens, white Vinca and purle and yellow pansies. A new addition this year was a tiny step ladder (yard sale find) to hold 3 pots… looks adorable!

Today was the day they were calling for rain. I myself didn’t see, hear or feel a drop though I was told it had briefly this morning. The sun shone beautifully pretty much all day! After church I decided to go tanning, using a gift certificate I was given as a birthday gift LAST year for my 32nd birthday. Yep…about to be 33 in two months & I just used the first session today!

After tanning I came home & laid down for just a bit & then headed to work for a little while getting some items crossed off of my to do lists.

Went for a much needed walk with my cousin & chatted the miles away in the evening sun. Exhausted by the end but rejuvenated by the fact that we made it up the last hill without falling over!

Ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things for salads for the week. Dinner was exceptionally delicious if I do say so myself. A salad made of sweet butter lettuce, cucumbers, fresh raspberries, dried cranberries, and green olives with fat free raspberry vinaigrette dressing. I bought a new brand and I LOVE it!

So here I am now winding down the evening; enjoying the cooler air outside instead of my warm apartment … thinking about an ice bath for my knee…. mentally preparing for the week ahead.

Thankful for such a nice weekend in the midst of all the business that’s behind me and all that is yet to come.

Glad I made the best out of it considering curve balls that were thrown my way… got lots done that needed done; not too shabby given that I wasn’t feeling so hot in recent days either. Sometimes being a girl can be rough… just sayin’.

Keeping my head up & looking towards the goal… a promise of days to do what I want, when I want. VACATION, my friends. Thinking about that word gives me the tingles! Less than two months away with no major plans for 10 days I can hardly contain myself just thinking about it!!!

So that’s enough about me… now it’s your turn! What’s been going on in your neck of the woods?

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“Say Anything” – Movie Style, Thursday Throwback

Movie: Say Anything 

Song: In Your Eyes

Artist: Peter Gabriel

Album: So

Changed it up a tiny bit in choosing a movie for the Thursday Throwback this week….mainly because of a SONG in the movie! 

Just upon my saying the name of the movie, you can envision the scene.  The scene that makes the movie…   John Cusack’s character, Lloyd Dobler holding a boombox overhead, blaring “In Your Eyes” outside of Diane Court’s house. 

guy after a gal's heart....

Admit it ladies….

How many of you thought that was the sweetest thing ever?  I know I sure did!  I’d probably fall over flat on my face if my mister ever did that for me… cheesy or not, I’d take it in a heart beat!  I’m a cheesy romantic at heart… what can I say???

The overall premise of the movie is just sweet too… average boy chasing after an intelligent daddy’s girl.  Him seeking advice from his sister and girl friends.  Both trying to decide what they’re doing and where they’re going after graduation.  I just find the whole thing endearing. 

Some of my favorite quotes from the movie… and what I took from them…

 “One question: do you need… someone, or do you need me?… Forget it, I don’t really care.” – Lloyd  

Have you ever REALLY asked yourself that when in a relationship??? I have… If you answer that you need “someone” you’re not in the relationship with the right person.   I want to need that special person, not just anybody to fill a void.  When it’s right it will be right.

 “Why can’t you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?” – Lloyd

Sometimes being in a good mood, can be tricky!  It takes effort to pull yourself up and outta the dumps sometimes… Looking on the sunny side when things seem dreary is a CHOICE; one that we all have the ability to make, if we are willing to step up to the challenge.

“I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.” 

This sooooooo reminds me of where I was at upon entering my undergraduate work at Edinboro.  One minute I thought I wanted to be an accountant after having always thought I’d go in to education.  Then I toyed with the idea of social work, followed quickly by psychology…only to end up in none other than EDUCATION.  Go figure.  It’s so hard to know what you want to do with your life when you’ve just become an “adult.”  Here I am at age 32 and still don’t know EXACTLY what I want to do with my life… I mean I have ideas and goals, but I’m not COMPLETELY in charge of what goes on here.  I’ve got a little help from Someone else.  Just sayin’. 

In all of the glorious cheesiness that is 80’s pop culture, from the names of the characters to the songs and even the plot, Say Anything is an absolute winner in my book.

BUT THE SONG…. In Your Eyes is just completely beautiful… I WANT to feel this way about the man I marry… I want him to feel the same about me.

“in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes”

That may make me a dreamer… that may make me naive…

I will say that it makes me hopeful.  Hopeful that two people can find each other… love each other and fight for each other. 

There… that’s it; you’ve suffered through enough of my cheesy smorgasbord!

I don’t blame ya if you never came back after suffering through such a huge heap of romantic blubbering!  I just can’t help it!

I’m a romantic at heart…. All was have been.  Always will be.

Packed and Ready To Go…

Frames are all priced & boxed up… a potentially daunting task if it weren’t for the help of my dear,  sweet cousin Sue.

All packed up and ready to go in the morning....

Table coverings are ironed…

Car will be loaded in the morning to head out & set up @ 8:00AM with the help of another fabulous cousin,  Marci & best friend Jaime.

Curtain opens at 10 AM. I’m a wee bit nervous and excited!  🙂 

Tomorrows show is the first step to completing my goal of participating in 3 craft shows in one year (on the list).  Plus I am hoping to open an ETSY shop to sell my goodies online in the very near future.  Gonna be a busy year!

So now there’s nothing left to do but go over my list & check it twice…

And, some much-needed relaxation & pampering !

First up a HOT bath with tunes,  followed by routine eyebrow maintenance & concluding with a home mani/pedi.

Haven’t painted my nails in a while since craftiness doesn’t keep friends with manicured nails.

My FAVORITE OPI nail polish 🙂

 

Looking forward to seeing how tomorrow goes & then get my grips on normalcy!  Huh? What’s that????

Tomorrow … I’m baaaaaaaack!

Until then my friends … thanks for sticking with during the last few sub-par posts.

Sneak Peek of Progress

Crawled out of the rubble for a quick minute… my brain, hands and back are thankful for the quick interruption and change in scenery from the diabolical mess that has taken over my living room.

about 400 feet of adhesive

24 watercolor pencils down to nubs

my apartment resembles a crafting war zone

BUT…

44 pieces finished in 3 evenings

is PROGRESS.

Here’s a sneak peek of some of my most favorite, just-finished pieces.  🙂

Family

Decorative Tray

Something special for all those mums out there

 

Hope 🙂

 

And my absolute most favorite so far…

Best ever!!!

with a quote from one of the BEST movies ever and in 

“A Touch of Mae’s” signature colors too I might add!

 

Hope you enjoyed this little sneak peek of progress….

Back at it I go!